It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
