So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
