Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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