yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Randomize