guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
nutella sex= disaster
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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