Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
