bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize