I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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