just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
