Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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