no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...