we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
