Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize