Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
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Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
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I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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