It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
