he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
