google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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