yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
