just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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