Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
