it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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