We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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