worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
