I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
