i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
