Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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