don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
