She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize