So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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