everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize