Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Spring semester is just not the same w/o you

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  (313): Spring semester is just not the same w/o you http://tfl.nu/5znn
  Replies (7) Good night (797) Bad night (1054)
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  (650): View more from California

  I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.

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  (650): I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it. http://tfl.nu/k1p6
  Replies (7) Good night (770) Bad night (3556)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Nevermind, it's not water.

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  (907): The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle. (907): Nevermind, it's not water. http://tfl.nu/jzsy
  Replies (24) Good night (7210) Bad night (787)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.

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  (410): Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on. http://tfl.nu/o94m
  Replies (15) Good night (4630) Bad night (1376)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm

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  (214): she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm http://tfl.nu/qx0o
  Replies (8) Good night (3112) Bad night (1802)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?

  (467): View more from

  I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Can you ship it to me then?

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  (317): I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink? (467): I moved out 2 weeks ago remember? (317): Can you ship it to me then? http://tfl.nu/bovq
  Replies (4) Good night (2484) Bad night (723)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.

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  (817): Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one. http://tfl.nu/mit2
  Replies (3) Good night (787) Bad night (1033)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays

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  (307): I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays http://tfl.nu/bo0c
  Replies (5) Good night (459) Bad night (561)
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  (607): View more from New York

  you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."

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  (607): you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland." http://tfl.nu/m13s
  Replies (7) Good night (1634) Bad night (525)
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  (619): View more from California

  I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.

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  (619): I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things. http://tfl.nu/mpyy
  Replies (3) Good night (644) Bad night (273)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.

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  (740): I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck. http://tfl.nu/g6o5
  Replies (7) Good night (803) Bad night (368)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.

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  (570): They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me. http://tfl.nu/dk1c
  Replies (5) Good night (477) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?

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  (+44): HELP! How do I get paint off the dog? http://tfl.nu/myj5
  Replies (6) Good night (355) Bad night (499)
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  (858): View more from California

  Is she okay?

  (773): View more from Illinois

  She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.

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  (858): Is she okay? (773): She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine. http://tfl.nu/rwoi
  Replies (0) Good night (487) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.

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  (585): I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits. http://tfl.nu/c0pb
  Replies (8) Good night (523) Bad night (823)

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