so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.