Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
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I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
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took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.