Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.

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  (303): dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party. http://tfl.nu/thh9
  Replies (9) Good night (2381) Bad night (799)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!

  (1-520): View more from Arizona

  what?

  (520): View more from Arizona

  YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!

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  (520): JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP! (1-520): what? (520): YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?! http://tfl.nu/3cop
  Replies (38) Good night (844) Bad night (4138)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  again?

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  (612): I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job. (651): again? http://tfl.nu/ai0g
  Replies (11) Good night (1075) Bad night (4908)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.

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  (678): Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce. http://tfl.nu/g2ub
  Replies (4) Good night (3385) Bad night (947)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?

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  (778): Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail? http://tfl.nu/fzou
  Replies (20) Good night (4938) Bad night (895)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too

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  (608): The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too http://tfl.nu/q1xa
  Replies (4) Good night (1354) Bad night (1783)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.

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  (703): We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day. http://tfl.nu/6fp1
  Replies (5) Good night (712) Bad night (1998)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  She's the worst person, but the best naked person

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  (248): She's the worst person, but the best naked person http://tfl.nu/e5d7
  Replies (7) Good night (1770) Bad night (498)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs

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  (973): you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs http://tfl.nu/j1c8
  Replies (7) Good night (2607) Bad night (715)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.

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  (318): Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun. http://tfl.nu/0u88
  Replies (7) Good night (574) Bad night (1323)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian

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  (970): This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian http://tfl.nu/y4qc
  Replies (5) Good night (1021) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b

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  (916): Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b http://tfl.nu/9ccv
  Replies (5) Good night (991) Bad night (490)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?

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  (623): I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us? http://tfl.nu/w6tx
  Replies (5) Good night (577) Bad night (327)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow

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  (618): My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow http://tfl.nu/gob3
  Replies (1) Good night (325) Bad night (496)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.

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  (703): I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final. http://tfl.nu/iiqy
  Replies (0) Good night (399) Bad night (431)

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