Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets

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(678): View more from Georgia

He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.

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(303): View more from Colorado

If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?

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(301): View more from Maryland

Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(563): View more from Iowa

last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.

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(660): View more from Missouri

The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD

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(+91): View more from India

I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

you went over there?

(1-405): View more from Oklahoma

His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.

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