Texts From Last Night

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  (713): View more from Texas

  We need to get cat food

  (713): View more from Texas

  Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms

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  (713): We need to get cat food (713): Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms http://tfl.nu/t07l
  Replies (23) Good night (5344) Bad night (889)
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  (516): View more from New York

  So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."

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  (516): So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming." http://tfl.nu/t69x
  Replies (17) Good night (2991) Bad night (512)
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  (530): View more from California

  I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.

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  (530): I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame. http://tfl.nu/96nu
  Replies (45) Good night (666) Bad night (2484)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".

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  (919): Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me". http://tfl.nu/jl9f
  Replies (210) Good night (32160) Bad night (3037)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!

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  (248): SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH! http://tfl.nu/111h
  Replies (66) Good night (1177) Bad night (17056)
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  (914): View more from New York

  End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.

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  (914): End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide. http://tfl.nu/bl6v
  Replies (74) Good night (6510) Bad night (1273)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets

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  (414): I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets http://tfl.nu/vdn6
  Replies (14) Good night (1030) Bad night (3792)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.

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  (402): my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen. http://tfl.nu/06g9
  Replies (2) Good night (4044) Bad night (1205)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.

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  (401): after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome. http://tfl.nu/gm5a
  Replies (25) Good night (5778) Bad night (1308)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"

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  (954): I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!" http://tfl.nu/l7rl
  Replies (19) Good night (4450) Bad night (2026)
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  (650): View more from California

  Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.

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  (650): Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution. http://tfl.nu/4daa
  Replies (9) Good night (3101) Bad night (866)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible

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  (816): I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible http://tfl.nu/v92i
  Replies (3) Good night (2298) Bad night (703)
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  (914): View more from New York

  They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.

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  (914): They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies. http://tfl.nu/g6fw
  Replies (3) Good night (895) Bad night (405)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  You pretty much isn't said it

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Those words don't go together.

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  (954): You pretty much isn't said it (404): Those words don't go together. http://tfl.nu/8gl1
  Replies (7) Good night (2290) Bad night (675)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it

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  (847): Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it http://tfl.nu/xf5x
  Replies (2) Good night (429) Bad night (612)

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