dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
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you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
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You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"