Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?