I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
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he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
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Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.