She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
