I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Dick very happy bro
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
