I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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