He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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