I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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