Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
