im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
