If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I wear drunk well.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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