but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
