Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
