ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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