Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
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