Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
