ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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