I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My vagina is officially offended.
Randomize
