All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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