Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
