Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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