Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
