Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
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