So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
