I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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