so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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