i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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